she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
