garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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