Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
