i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
