i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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