i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
