Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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