I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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