New invention idea: vibrating tampons
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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