dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
