did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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