well you can't waste a boner
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
