okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
