5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
