Sponge bath it is.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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