Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
