bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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