so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
