Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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