I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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