so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
