Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
