I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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