whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
