so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
