i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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