He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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