You can't motorboat a personality
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
