Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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