So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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