On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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