So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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