i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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