addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize