My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
