You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
