Where is the hickey?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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