it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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