I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
