i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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