lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
