oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
