Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
