so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
