Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
