My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
