It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
