After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
