okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
