Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
