Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
