Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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