a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize