First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I deserve this hangover.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
