the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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