Screwed.edu
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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