Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
