Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
