Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This girl is more easily done than said...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
