Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
