He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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