im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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