She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize