Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
