i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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